au revoir

02/07/2014

Summer.  I dislike it.   Nine o’clock this morning I am awake, but motionless.  Our gentle, orange tabby taps my face with is velvet paw. Already humid with incessant sun, the insects are tedious with their constant presence.  I take my morning coffee indoors.  Entombed in my closed, cool studio, I feel uncomfortable.  No, it is not a lack of comfort – too superfluous – it is loss.

cafe2A forty-year friendship was packed up carelessly today. Thrown willy-nilly into a small box to be abandoned at the curbside.  Three decades of champagne toasts and Christmas treats, countless drives along the dull, Pennsylvania interstate to share in a  “sisters’ visit”, belly laughs and silliness with midday trips pushing strollers laden with croissants and juice boxes along concrete sidewalks  – now still.  Then, a decade of letting go, “keeping in touch”  insinuating itself between us. Stealing intimacy. Sharing an occasional cafe seated at your kitchen table. Bon mots sprinkled generously along with the sugar.

I am not blindsided, dear friend, clutching the box of memories against my heart.  I am, simply, bereft.

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One Response to “au revoir”

  1. Sally Says:

    Bereft is the word — it takes on meaning only in the midst of loss. It is as if something has been yanked out of you, and you don’t know what to do. I’m so sorry.

    Like


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